I live with poems, with winter and autumn

I live with poems, my friends. My father is a great poet, and my mother is a great story-teller. I have difficulties on memorizing. Lyrics of songs. Verses of the Holy Books. Or whatever I must remember precisely. I have difficulties on reasoning. Either philosophy or theology.  The fancy theories and sophisticated concepts. I always failed in physics and chemistry because I can not take the formulas into my head. I am not good in any language, though I learn as many as I could. Grammar is even an enemy than a friend to me. Malay, English, French, or even my mother tongue Javanese.  Yet, poems yes poems, I can read them all. So I sent a poem to a friend whose heart stays in winter since I have first met him. But, I have troubles too. Summer and spring may it seem, but winter and autumn, both everlasting within me.  I have wounds too and often weep too. And, I do not always feel happy and healthy. Outside, the birds fly to the sky, inside, the waves crash the sand. As Li Yu once wrote:

~ The waves crash the sand ~

by Li Yu

Outside the curtain, the rain is gurgling,

the spring feelings will end soon

The silk quilt could not bear the cold of dawn

In the dream I do not know I was a prisoner, unable to enjoy the pleasure for a while

Alone at sunset, lean on a railing, looking at the infinite landscape of the past kingdom

So easy to go apart from, but is difficult to meet

Like flowing water, the flowers gone with the spring, as heaven and earth.

Yet, it is the only chance I live on earth. I am a farmer, and also a dervish of  a beloved Lord who had given me and will give me everything I need and I ask for.  So I sent a letter to a friend whose wounded heart take a long time to get cure. For I am also afraid of tsunami if I live at the seashore. For I fear of pains, illness, lack of money and tragic death. I am only a common person who enjoy life, but have hard times too. Like Hai Zi, I have to face them, the sweetness or the bitterness that hurts me so, swimming nor flying I can not do to leave or get away from:

~ Facing the ocean with the spring of blossom flowers ~

By Hai Zi

From tomorrow on,
I will be a happy man;
Grooming, chopping,
and traveling all over the world.
From tomorrow on,
I will care foodstuff and vegetable,
Living in a house towards the sea,
with the spring of blossom flowers
From tomorrow on,
write to each of my dear ones,
Telling them of my happiness,
What the lightening of happiness has told me,
I will spread it to each of them.
Give a warm name for every river and every mountain,
Strangers, I will also wish you happy.
May you have a brilliant future!
May your lovers eventually become spouse!
May you enjoy happiness in this earthly world!
I only wish to face the ocean, with the spring of blossom flowers

So, then flowers are His gifts, can be seen but sometimes hidden out of my sight and smell. And even I can not put them in my mind as beautiful and splendid things. Why? Why? It is when I walk with books and leave the world. But when I come home, I hug the poems and plant versification for my winter and autumn heart, flowers are blooming and blossoming. Even the coldness freeze my days, His gifts keep me warm, the heart, and the soul, the wilderness stay, like the water and my feet under it. I let Him sink me in His, in Him.

Chinese poems are taken from



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